Fairytale Beginnings

by Adam Roth

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1.
I used to cry whenever it was time to go to bed I didn’t want to waste the nighttime that I still had left I knew that 10pm was a million hours too soon So I drank a wishing potion and wished upon the moon I wished to never sleep and to be happy all the time And I wished to live a thousand years so I’d be filled with life Now when children cast a wish upon the moon, their wish comes true So I have lived a thousand years and now I’m telling you That everyone deserves a chance to choose the path ahead And if you don’t like bedtimes, then just stay awake instead Cause I’ve been awake a thousand years and what a life I’ve led It’s amazing how much life you’ve got when you never rest your head I’ll sleep when I’m dead! I started out with 20 years of looking at the sky And I splashed in every puddle that I found while running by I spent 100 years just making friends with all the trees And it thrilled me to no end to know that they would outlive me I’ve made a million people friends, and though they’ve come and gone Just to know that life is temporary helped me to move on Though I don’t remember all my stories, I know I’ve done enough Cause every road I’ve taken I have tried to fill with love And if anyone would ask me why I tread the path I tread I’d tell them life’s too beautiful to ever go to bed And now I’ve spoke my mind a thousand years and left nothing unsaid Cause in life you get one wish and mine’s to live with no regrets I’ll sleep when I’m dead! And now I lay here dying after life a thousand years It’s been an awesome ride but now it’s time to disappear So as I close my eyes don’t be afraid to say goodbye But please don’t cry about me, try to smile and think of life Now I hope you’ve learned your lesson, and forget me if you may But don’t forget the joy that you can find along your way Oh, I wanted to find happiness like a million dreamers do And when children cast a wish upon the moon their wish comes true Cause everyone deserves a chance to choose the path ahead And if you don’t like bedtimes, then just stay awake instead Cause I’ve been awake a thousand years and what a life I’ve led It’s amazing how much life you’ve got when you never rest your head So now I’ll sleep when I’m dead I’ll sleep when I’m deeeeaadddd I’ll sleep when I’m deeeeaadddd I’ll sleep when I’m deeeeaadddd I’ll go to sleep when I’m dead!
2.
Sometimes 04:03
Well sometimes I wake up and I just don’t feel right Like there’s a shadow on my whole life But I went to bed so happy last night And sometimes I feel so foggy in my own mind Like I’ve forgotten all the good times I’m done with putting up a fight I’ve never been the type to cry But then I wonder why I can’t I see the world running by A million friends I’ll never have Look out my window at the sky Stare at the sun cause nothing’s real I stop and stare and try to smile Just to remember how it feels Ohh, ohh, ohh Ohh, ohh, ohh I wanna feel the way I should Cause I know I could be good But all that I can say Is ohh, ohh, ohh Till it goes away Till it goes away Now sometimes Somebody sees me with my sad eyes And they think they’ll fix it if they rationalize They wanna prove that I’m okay So sometimes They try to tell me that I’m alright But of course I know I'm alright It’s just a sorrow kind of day I could be happy all the time But I cannot change the way I am If I try putting on a smile It ends up hurting me instead I’ll be okay, just wait a while I hope that you can understand It all gets better over time Don’t tell me lies just hold my hand Ohh, ohh, ohh Ohh, ohh, ohh I wanna feel the way I should Cause I know I could be good But all that I can say, oh Is ohh, ohh, ohh Till it goes away Till it goes away Till it goes away Till it goes away
3.
Oh I love you Yes I do And I’ll love you forever and ever if you want me to Oh I’ll keep you Next to me Cause whenever you aren’t around I can hardly breathe I crave The sound of your name And all of the ways You’re always there for me I say Every day That I’ll never stray You are the only one I need Oh these are the words that you said once to me It’s too bad they are phrases that don’t mean anything So when you told me That I was yours I hadn’t a reason to doubt so I came back for more Then you kissed me And you spoke the truth Cause you told me you couldn’t believe that it was me and you You‘d say that you’d always stay But when I was away You’d find another guy Who’d play your every game Always the same Another apple to your eye And endless "I’m sorries" can make someone bleed Cause it’s too bad they are phrases that don’t mean anything I’m sorry, I’ll fix this Forgive me, my weakness My kindness saves you every time I love you, I need you Just give me a redo But when will things ever be fine? You tell me you need me So why do you leave me You run around cheating on me You tell me you want me Then run after something Some guy that I never could be So when you come here No matter when You’ll never be trusted again Oh, there was a time that you meant so much to me But it’s too bad love's a feeling That don’t mean anything
4.
I saw a little boy out standing in the rain The heavy droplets masquerading on his face I asked him why he wasn’t home and warm and safe But he just smiled at me and shrugged and stayed in place I wasn’t sure just how to make him understand So I reached out to him and tried to take his hand I thought I’d save him from the storm as I had planned But he just put his hand in mine and looked at me instead And this is what he said He told me that in life, some good things have to wait And that the sun’ll come again another day And though his mommy cries that life is filled with pain Well that just has to be okay So for now I’m standing in the rain So I thought back to times when I was just a kid To see if maybe this was how I once had lived Accepting pain and heartbreak, that they do exist But thinking back to then, I’m sure I never did I don’t want sad and sorry winters by the phone I don’t want lonely wasted nights spent on my own I don’t want tear tracks leaving stains upon my coat I just want happy sunshine everywhere I go Ohh And this is what I know I know in life that you should push away the pain Ignore the cloudy days and brush past all the gray If you’re not smiling every second of the day Then you are making a mistake But that boy’s still standing in the rain Then he sat down amidst the puddles And splashed his hands in the dirty waters He seemed so glad without an umbrella Like he lived in a world with brighter colors I had tried to help him see the light That you should push away the pain cause it’s not right But when I saw him laugh instead of hide I cried cause he had changed my mind Cause you know it might be true that life is filled with pain But there’s no escaping it no matter how we stray So if we just look at sadness in a different way We’ll see it’s something to embrace And so I took my coat off in the pouring rain And we began to splash around and truly play With covered shirtsleeves in a muddy sort of paint Cause there’s color hidden in the gray So you just gotta find the way He told me that in life, some good things have to wait And that the sun’ll come again another day And though his mommy cries that life is filled with pain Well that just has to be okay Cause for now we’re standing in the rain
5.
I thought I saw you At that party last night And I wish that I’d said hi but I can’t do anything right I was antisocializing trying to stay out of sight So you know I ran away oh god I’m so damn uptight I’m just a victim Of my idiot brain It says that I’m a total nobody I’m boring and plain Not a soul is gonna fall for anything that I say But now holy crap I’m knocking on your door anyway And I say I kinda got a crush on you I think you should know And it’s crazy and it’s scary and I’m all on my own Anyway if you don’t want to it’s okay to say no Wait I’m sorry this is stupid I should prolly just go If you could look into my mind It’s scary to think what you might find A million things I push away from sight So don’t try to ask if I’m all right It’s hard to think of words to say With stupid thoughts always in my way My ABC’s just fall to gray As I’m mumbling stumbling crumbling… away So I found you, now I’m shy around you I’m losing my mind but I’m so lost without you I’m tripping on my words it’s why I’m falling for you But I’m slipping trying to follow through it’s all I can do Looking for truth, kinda scary but I’m afraid on my own Working on my loving but I think too much and I don’t Try to fight it anyway you couldn’t possibly know Couldn’t know wouldn’t go shouldn’t though Would you try to work on sympathizing I’m not womanizing I’m just humanizing If I hadn’t wound up standing at your door I wouldn’t talk to you again but now I’m obviously trying I got a lot of songs I wanna sing, a symphony and you could bring A tiny bit of happy in my world of pain If I don’t grab my opportunity insanity’d win But it is not a possibility, I’m hurting again Talking is tricky with half my words missing Throw my mind at this wall but nothing is sticking As I try to unwind I just find it’s not fitting I can’t talk to you now so goddammit I’m ditching Gotta run, I’ll miss you a ton Thanks for this talk it was so f***ing fun I’m just gonna run from this world for a bit I know for a fact I’m a son of a b**** I know for a fact I’m a son of a b**** And if I could go back I would shut down this s*** And I wouldn’t go up to you, wouldn’t do this I’d just stay in my room in my ignorant bliss If you could look into my mind It’s scary to think what you might find A million things I push away from sight So don’t try to ask if I’m all right It’s hard to think of words to say With stupid thoughts always in my way My ABC’s just fall to gray As I’m mumbling stumbling crumbling away
6.
When he was younger he had an imaginary friend She was there when he was sad and always comforting him Her name was Missy, and quickly there was no separating them He knew together they’d write history, it was just a matter of when They sat together at school, she was his only protection From the millions of bullies come from every direction They would tease him for believing in this “weirdo” connection But Missy’d always speak to him, say their friendship was the best one Imaginary imaginary friends Imaginary imaginary friends It had to be so scary, uncaring plans Imaginary imaginary friends When he was eight and in classes, barely listened to them talk He’d find that lesson time passes at a melancholy crawl They’d call his parents, call him terrible, no work ethic at all But he knew the time was only bearable if he was staring at the wall There were moments he was happy, where there were no long talks to hurdle In art class, he and Missy spent hours painting flowers purple He’d spend forevers together with his imaginary girl Everything was so much better in his painted made-up worlds Imaginary imaginary friends Imaginary imaginary friends With brushes in his hand he’d paint fairylands Imaginary imaginary friends He knew from the beginning that he didn’t fit the system But when he was eleven, the truth finally hit him If Santa was just a phantom, and the Tooth Fairy fiction Then what made his Missy any different? He’s fifteen now and in high school, and so much has changed He’s growing out stubble, he’s forgotten her name He wears baseball caps and fakes his laughs and pushes down the pain And he fits in with all his classmates, just more of the same He’s got friends by the dozen, and they all think he’s great And the girls come up constantly and ask him for dates He’s good at keeping up appearances, cause his whole life is at stake So if he’s got so many friends, why do they all seem so… fake? Imaginary imaginary friends Imaginary imaginary friends Pieced his life together and he knows where he stands Imaginary imaginary friends Imaginary imaginary friends Imaginary imaginary friends Missy’s who he’s missing but she’s gone from his head Imaginary imaginary friends Imaginary imaginary friends Imaginary imaginary friends It had to be so scary, uncaring plans Imaginary imaginary end
7.
Shadowy 03:42
I’m a shadow, I am dark Will you watch me fall apart? The light plays tricks on my skin, bringing me in, oh Will you take my beating heart? Children watch and point and stare As on the sidewalk I am there I’m changing form, my shape distorts upon the floor As they tilt their caps to block the glare Their breath Is taken away, is taken away Regrets I made a mistake, I’m a shadowy monster I’ve made a mistake, I’m a shadowy monster Cause I lived in the shadows I needed love, I needed love I’m a shadow of what I had become I’m tinted red, I’m almost dead So don’t forget me when the sun sets When the sun sets I'm a shadowy monster When the sun sets When the sun sets I'm so shadowy, shadowy
8.
Neverland 05:22
How do you know the time of day? You look at the clock within its frame Measure the time that’s slipped away How can you go along your way Never seeing past the gray Following steps you can’t retrace But still I wonder what we could’ve been If you’d just been there Still, I wonder what we are So stay here with me Take a day here to breathe Just say that you believe And we can be here endlessly Cause right now we are in Neverland Right here in Neverland Why can’t you look me in the eye? Your problems don’t have to be mine You say you haven’t got the time But I know the truth behind your lies I see you holding back inside And all the soul you hide by crying I used to wonder where we were gonna go When you’d just get here Now I wonder where you are So stay here with me Take a day here to breathe Just say that you believe And we can be here endlessly Cause right now we are in Neverland Right here in Neverland Yeah, sometimes when I’m alone I think of what a waste of time this is My mind just can’t align with this And I can barely rhyme because of this This way you wear conformity On your sleeve when you are torn between Time-urgency and normalcy I believe that there is more to this You just gotta explore a bit Stop worrying where your time went to before And store a little bit of satisfaction knowing that true happiness is cordless, cordless Time’s not real, it’s just a falsehood In Neverland it’s all good Captain Hook’s not all wrong, least he got that clocks were not good, like manna But it’s only Peter Pan who knew just "how far he’d go" – Moana And he couldn’t find his shadow cause there’s no dark in Nirvana Time is just fabric but you’re a material girl like you wish you were Madonna How do you keep from getting torn? You measure the calm before the storm You hold someone close to keep you warm I’m sorry That you could never see the pain you put yourself through Cause you just never had the time So one last time Just stay here with me Find a way here to breathe It’s not hard to believe We could’ve stayed here endlessly But right now we are in Neverland One last time in Neverland One more moment in Neverland Take your last breath in Neverland How do you know the time of day? You look at the clock within its frame Measure the time that’s slipped away Endlessly
9.
Spelunk Funk 04:27
I was walking through a cave and I got bored I got bored I got bored Cause this cave was just like others I’d explored I’d explored I wanted more So I crawled into an opening, a hollow empty space There were spiders and a bunch of bats to decorate the place And I took a look around me to assess the situation But all the miles of mediocrity just gave me aggravation Cause all the stalagmites Held on so stalactight to the ground, to the ground And it was dark as night Cause my old stalaglight was dying out, dying out I’d been here quite awhile With an adventurous smile, now I was getting bored, I was getting bored So if it’s quite alright I stalagmight not come here anymore So I was crawling through a cave and I got tired I got tired I got tired Cause after all I had arrived to get inspired To get inspired And fuel the fire But it had been a lot of time since I had gone into the cave I’d been searching for strange scenery, but it all sorta seemed the same And now it’s weird to think that something so exotically intentioned Could end up so inconsequential, really, not that much to mention Cause all the stalagmites Held on so stalactight to the ground, to the ground And it was dark as night Cause my old stalaglight was dying out, dying out I’d been here quite awhile With an adventurous smile, now I was getting bored, I was getting bored So if it’s quite alright I stalagmight not come here anymore Ohhh To be honest I’m not sure what I was waiting for Ohhh I guess this cave is a metaphor I am living out my life and I get bored I get bored I get bored Cause each day is just like others I’ve explored I’ve explored I just want more And my heart is just an opening, a hollow empty space There are spiders and a bunch of bats to decorate the place And I look at those around me to assess the situation But it seems that they all also live in caves of their creation Cause all the stalagmites Hold on so stalactight to the ground, to the ground And it’s dark as night Cause my old stalaglight is dying out, dying out I’ve been here quite awhile With an adventurous smile, now I’m getting bored, I’m getting bored So if it’s quite alright I stalagmight not come here anymore Yeah if it’s quite alright I stalagdon’t think I can do this anymore
10.
Easy as Pie 04:00
She looks at me as if to say Is your loving just a game Don’t make a difference what I say Oh I know it doesn’t matter anyway At the table, she’s cold as stone Dinner for two, but I feel so alone Taste her apple pie, but the flavor is gone Another fight, another night I’ll spend alone Oh I know we can keep on running, running, running away From all our issues, all the games that we keep trying to play But it’s time I speak my mind and take all of the blame Cause I know that I’ve made some mistakes Yeah, I’m real stupid sometimes But I’ll make it alright I know we’ll make it out ali-i-i-ive It’ll be you and me forever put the pieces back together make it easy as pie La la la Easy as pie Whoa Her shadow’s lying next to me My eyes open, I was hopin' I could get some sleep But I’m so wound up, I can barely breathe Count my mistakes like I’m counting sheep Oh I know that I keep on pushing, pushing, pushing away I’m afraid of trusting anybody who can make things okay But if I let you go I’d never be the same And I’m scared that I might be too late Yeah, I’m real stupid sometimes But I’ll make it alright I know we’ll make it out ali-i-i-ive It’ll be you and me forever put the pieces back together make it easy as pie Ay Whoa Whoa, easy as pie Whoa Whoa we'll make it easy as pie It’ll be you and me forever put the pieces back together don’t you tell me goodbye I promise I am different now so give me just a minute now to fix you and I Oh it’ll be a struggle but there won’t be any trouble if we give it a try I will love you for infinity for each and every minute till it’s easy as pie Yeah
11.
Ooo Ooo It has been a million years since I have felt the pain But now I feel it coming back again Now I feel it coming back again, whoa It has been a million years since I have touched the rain But now it’s coming like a hurricane Yeah now it’s coming up and blowing me away I knew life was going too smooth It had been too long, the rain was due soon The storm is here and the pain just blew through But a million years still feels like too soon Now I just don’t know what to do I curl up under covers colored blue But you know my heart is painted blue too So the rain falls through, d-doo doo doo doo doo Well everybody says it’s crazy being human But everybody knows it’s a shame to walk away I keep telling myself how to be a human But the pain keeps getting in the way Oh I know It’s only for today Ooo It has been a million times that I have felt the flood It slashed my tires and filled my head with blood And now I don’t know who to trust Can’t trust myself cause I’m no weatherman Can’t trust the world cause it don’t have a plan Nobody else cause I’m a lonely man The lightning cracks into my ceiling My world falls and my mind is reeling I close my eyes and give in to feelings Sometimes I wish that I couldn’t feel things Well everybody says it’s crazy being human But everybody knows it’s a shame to walk away I keep telling myself how to be a human But the pain keeps getting in the way Oh I know It’s only for today But if I cry now It’ll go by, drift back to the wind So I’ll keep crying And I’ll keep trying to let it in Cause oh it hurts me to my core And I can’t take it anymore But if I drown in it I’m sure It only takes a little more And though I’m small and I am weak And my walls have sprung a leak And my throat hurts when I try to speak It’s just maybe one more day we’ll wait and see Ohh I know That it’s just one more day of sorrow I’ll hold on to what I’ve got, oh Ohh I’m so Eff'd up I can’t spell out my name But it won’t always be this way Ohh It’s only for today It’s only for today It’s only for today It’s only for today
12.
I wanna stay here til the world disappears I wanna comfort you and wipe away your tears I wanna shelter you and save you from the storm I wanna hold you close and keep your body warm And I have always loved you through the laughter and the pain I’m thinking of you all the time and time again I’m grateful for our little talks and all the plans we made And though I will be going, know the love will still remain Ohh Ohh And I know I can be the one who loves you when you’re down I promise after this I’ll always stick around But in the moment I won’t say these words aloud Cause for now I will be running for awhile Through lost and found I know that it may seem like we are going separate ways And I can’t promise that I’m never gonna change But however far the path between us may be split in two I'll always remember all my memories with you And there are times I wish I’d made the other choice That I could stay here and forever hear your voice I wish to God that I didn’t have to go But now my journey takes me far away from home Ohh Ohh And I know I can be the one who loves you when you’re down I promise after this I’ll always stick around But in the moment I won’t say these words aloud Cause for now I will be running for awhile Through lost and found Ooo Ooo Pieces of ourselves we’ll lose along the way Running down the avenue of time and space We drop some of the special things from yesterday But we keep finding new ones every single day And years from now I’ll be with you whenever you are down You won’t feel lonely cause I’ll always be around But it’s so hard for me to say these words aloud Cause for now I’m somewhere searching for your smile Through lost and found
13.
Sit down Welcome to the table This is what you came for To find others with no place to go Please don’t ask our names, though We’re all a bit unstable Plus we’ve all got the same tale to tell So tell us why you’re running From the parts you never wanted Cause you were always playing hide and seek But the seeker never hunted So your heart was undiscovered It’s turned from children’s game to murder mystery Sit down for a while Look, you must be tired Given that you’ve searched for your soul so long But we don’t need a liar So stop faking that smile You know, the one you’ve been working on Cause you’ve been growing up slowing up way too scared that you don’t know enough Had to buckle down muscle down kept on hold till you were old enough Scared to make a ripple you don’t step outside your boundaries But everybody wants to try to be the one that seems like they’re not floundering Ooo Keep on holding on, holding on Ooo Even if what you are feels all wrong Cause ooo Cause we’ve all got something that’s going on So you You are not the only one So tell us what you’re doing That’s kept your life from moving Can you really keep blaming the world There’s nothing to be proven Time slips until it’s ruined But you would have it all if you just said the word Everybody backtracks Living in a zigzag Switching back and forth between respect and regret We try every kind of hat Cause we’re scared that we might snapback Did anybody catch that But we keep growing up slowing up way too scared that we don’t know enough Buckle down muscle down keep on holding till we’re old enough Scared to make a ripple we don’t step outside our boundaries But everybody wants to try to be the one who seems like they’re not floundering Ooo Keep on holding on, holding on Ooo Even if what you are feels all wrong Cause ooo Everybody’s got something that’s going on So you You are not the only one So tell me you’re pretty, tell me you’re kind Tell me you’ve got the most beautiful eyes It’s okay to love yourself sometimes Just pray that you’re the self you’ll find Ooo Keep on holding on, holding on Ooo Even if what you are feels all wrong Cause ooo Everybody’s got something that’s going on So you You are not the only one You are not the only one You are not the only one So ooo You are not the only one But we keep growing up slowing up way too scared that we don’t know enough Buckle down muscle down keep on holding till we’re old enough Scared to make a ripple we don’t step outside our boundaries But everybody wants to try to be the one who seems like they're not floundering Ooo Keep on holding on, holding on Ooo Even if what you are feels all wrong Cause ooo Everybody’s got something that’s going on So you You are not the only one It's okay to love yourself sometimes Just pray that you're the self you'll find Everybody wants to be alright So welcome to the table This is what you came for To understand that everybody has to fall But if you take down all your labels You might finally be able To see that you were never truly lost at all
14.
I tried to be perfect, to make myself worth it But I could have never survived So I started again and I tried to stay sane But my mind would not compromise Last resorts Second choices The world wasn’t made for the ones who need voices I’m crazy You happy, I said it But aren’t we all So don’t give me the credit I’m just passing on This note where I left it It’s not a for ransom It’s just a confession That my mind is not pleasant And my face is not handsome And neither is yours, dear Cause God painted with crayons Cause God’s not an artist He’s just father of creation He’s no little kid With a fresh imagination He just scribble-scrabbles His ideas are stale and old He draws with a pen So his work’s not erasable We get what we get And we get something messy But I don’t like clutter So don’t even press me I tried to be perfect, to make myself worth it But I could have never survived So I started again and I tried to stay sane But my mind would not compromise Mind of water Head of stone A body of glass And our hearts stand alone I’m stupid Cause that’s how He made me And even the best of us All turn out crazy Cause God’s not an artist Cause God’s not an artist
15.
Millions of years ago Lived beasts and bugs and dinosaurs The bigger ones were carnivores And the small ones knew how to hide The animals of every size Would fight to take each other's lives Knowing not the reason why Just trying to survive And oh No matter where you'd go The beasts would scream at the dinosaurs Til another body was on the floor And the bugs would laugh And the bugs would laugh A little more Ohh A little more Ohh Well the asteroid took the dinosaurs And the humans came to take their course Now they've all grown up a little more But they miss the good old days Now they're big and small and rich and poor And they live inside their grocery stores They've stole and bought and fought in wars And their homes are never safe And oh No matter where you go The beggars all renounce the kings And we're fighting over everything And the bugs just laugh And the bugs just laugh A little more Ohh A little more Ohh Ohh Well millions of years from now When the sun above has long run out Outer space will replace the dinosaurs And the beasts and bugs and us The orbits are getting out of line And Saturn rings a soulful chime They'll mourn the thought of humankind As the stars shoot each other dead And oh No matter where you'll go The galaxy will be losing touch Cause the gravity is just too much And the moon will start to get annoyed As violence rages in the void There'll be no church bells left to hear As anger sweeps the atmosphere And God will laugh Yes, God will laugh A little more

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released July 14, 2020

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Adam Roth Miami, Florida

I spend my free time searching for magic, exploring, plotting, playing, and spreading color as much as I can! I write songs to help me better understand myself and others and the world. I hope you get something out of my music!

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